Covid hit and grocery stores ran out of two things – toilet paper and condoms. Like many couples, I was excited for what quarantine had in store for our sex life. After all, There is nothing like making love to your partner to keep the bordem at bay.
However, we are on day 927 of quarantine and perhaps your sex life isn’t quite so sexy anymore. You have both seen new (harrier and more disheveled) sides of each other.
But don’t worry, all hope is not lost. You can rekindle that sexual excitement you had before quarantine with my list (and a probably a shower). You can use this list as a conversation starter or as inspiration. The key to rekindling your sex life is to communicate with your partner what you want, hear what they want, and share what you are willing to give to each other.
Note: Please ensure that all parties are totally on board with trying any of these suggestions – including not JUST verbal consent, but also personal curiosity and genuine excitement. There should be no pressure involved in any way, shape, or form. For more information on consent, check out this link.
Stage 1 – Vanilla
1. Have a Kinks and Fantasies Conversation
Have a conversation with your partner about what their kinks and fantasies are. Remember that just because your partner wants you to suck on their toes doesn’t mean you have to. Either way, this should be a judgment-free discussion.
Also, if you’ve already had this conversation in the past – do it again! Kinks and fantasies can be as dynamic and changing as we are.
2. Masturbate Together
Mutual masturbation is also a great alternative if you are feeling randy but penetrative or oral sex isn’t an option – or you just want to switch it up / change the dynamic.
This can be a go to if you or your partner is menstruating and would prefer to self-please/don’t prefer penetrative period sex, but would still like to be intimate together.
3. Watch Porn Together
Take turns picking porn videos that you like. This can be a great way to explore your kinks and fantasies together. It can also be a great segway into a no-pants party.
Stage 2 – Vanilla with Chocolate Sauce
4. Role Play
Pretending you and your partner are both different people is a great way to spice things up. You can even pretend that your home is a bar or restaurant. Use your imagination and dress up!
5. Focus on Foreplay
Commit to engaging in foreplay for as long as possible without escalating to sex (oral or penetrative) – see how much you can turn each other on.
6. Focus Entirely on One Person
One person focuses entirely on the pleasure of the other person. This can pair well with the dom/sub dynamic (see number 9 below) if you would like to try that out.
Stage 3 – Triple Chocolate Fudge with Sprinkles, Crumbs and Cookies, yes please
7. Dom/Sub
This can be especially fun if one person is usually more dominant than the other. You can embrace the roles you normally take on or you can swap them. Just make sure you come up with a safe word and establish rules before engaging in Dom/Sub play.
If the Dom/Sub relationship sounds interesting and you are not familiar with it, check out this link for some useful information.
8. Try out BDSM
BDSM may seem intense but it’s not all whips and leather outfits. You can start off with a pair of fuzzy handcuffs, or some other form of playful restriction.
This is a way to amp up Dom/Sub play, and is another space where pre-arranged rules and safe words are especially important.
9. Wake Them Up with Sex
Wake up your partner with sex. This is surprising, riveting, and can be very sexy.
However, it is important to talk about consent and outlining ground rules before surprising your partner like this at a later date.
10. Anal Play / Pegging
Anal sex can be for everyone with an anus who is up to try it, no matter their gender or sexuality. Why? Because it feels great!
If you’re in a heterosexual relationship, pegging in particular is one way you can swap traditional power dynamics as well.
Bonus:
Add ice cream… We’ll leave it at that ;P
I hope this list helps the sparks fly. If there is something you think I missed, comment below! And if you’re looking for non-sex ideas for quarantine as well, check out our list of quarantine ideas.
Did this resonate with you? Follow me on Instagram for more tips or apply for a free coaching session to talk through your unique situation.
Loving the old; exploring the new,
John